In my cave

I’m still too far from being ok. It was a holiday yesterday, and it will be another holiday tomorrow, so no work today because everybody in this country, specially in this bloody city, won’t work between 2 holidays! I’ve been at home since last Friday doing nothing but thinking how shitty my life is, how uninteresting I am, and how come I have nothing to do besides being home in front of my laptop. I’ve never imagined I would miss work! Well, at least when I’m working I’m surrounded by (sometimes nice) people and not thinking about things.

When I’m depressed I like to cook. And that’s what I did today. Spent lots of money on good quality ingredients. Since you’re willing to cook a nice meal, enjoy eating it and therefore putting on some weight, there’s no reason to do it without quality products and the most important thing: passion!

I haven’t been on msn messenger for more or less a week, so I haven’t been talking with anybody. I’m stuck in my pseudo cave saving me from the outside world. There’s one thing I still haven’t figured out how to do: save me from myself! Am I my worst enemy? I guess so…

Me, myself, without Irene (the day after)

Left work, took my car, faced a huge stressful traffic jam to have a fantastic night! And am I feeling good? Not really! I’m pretty down, actually.

Half an hour before the gig I stopped at a restaurant to have dinner. Ate a very nice pasta as fast as I could, coz I was getting late for the gig. An interesting fact about this fast pit stop at the restaurant was the waitress. Not because she was cute or hot, but because I was wearing a Helloween t-shirt and she said: “Are you going to the gig?” And I said: “In a matter of fact, yeah, I am. I’m a bit late actually. I kind of need the meal asap.” The fact that she actually knew who Helloween was, is great!

Anyway, I arrived at the venue 30 min after my meal and 30 minutes before the gig. The venue is under a mall, so since I was alone, I decided to go for a walk in the mall to see if I could bump into someone I knew. I couldn’t find anyone, so I decided to enter the venue. As I put my feet inside it, I bumped into Sylvia, someone that I know from the music studio where I often hang out. In fact, we just said hello and she didn’t seem very excited to see me, so I said bye bye and told her I would talk to her later (I was lying, of course!). Some minutes later I saw 2 guys who I once knew from a galaxy far, far away. So, I pretty much didn’t talk to anybody during the whole gig, nor during my way back home. Actually, I only talked with someone when the phone rang this morning and it wasn’t for me!

Well, I did open my mouth! I just didn’t open it to talk, but I opened to sing all the songs, hehe! I also shook my body in some occasions hehe! As for the gig itself, it was AMAZING! I already knew Gamma Ray was able to deliver a very energetic gig! Energy was something that lacked Helloween in their 2006 gig, and that was the reason I was a bit, let’s say, not so excited about it. But, it was a surprise after all! Helloween is a band again! It appears the’ve finally gotten over all those internal problems and the new (not so new anymore) members are totally integrated with the original band members and the fans! The Helloween ‘spirit’ is alive again! It was the best Helloween gig (considering stage, setlist and band ebergy) I ever saw with my very own eyes! Even better than the 98 gig when they supported Maiden. Oh, and I was almost forgetting to mention the fact that Kai Hansen went on stage to sing/play the last 2 songs with Helloween. Kai left Helloween in 89 to form Gamma Ray, so watching him on stage with Helloween was a dream come true. It was a chilling moment. I actually got the chills for more or less 5 minutes! Amazing!

And now I go back to the first paragraph of this post. I’m feeling down. Really am. Not having anybody (colleague, friend, relative or girlfriend) to share this special moment is very depressing and sad. Instead of being a nice and talkative (full of comments about the gig) drive home with friends, it was a long, cold, and silent one.