Lost

Have you ever felt the future is the past, but you dont know how…?
A reflected dream of a captured time, is it really now, is it really happening?

Dont know why I feel this way, have I dreamt this time, this place?

All my hopes and expectations, looking for an explanation
Have I found my destination? I just cant take no more

Think Ive heard your voice before, think Ive said these words before
Something makes me feel I just might lose my mind
Am I still inside my dream? is this a new reality
Something makes me feel that I have lost my mind

I get up put on the light, dreading the oncoming night
Scared to fall asleep and dream the dream again
Nothing that I contemplate, nothing that I can compare
To letting loose the demons deep inside my head

Dread to think what might be stirring, that my dream is reoccurring
Got to keep away from drifting, saving me from myself

Lost in a dream of mirrors, lost in a paradox
Lost and time is spinning, lost a nightmare I retrace
Lost a hell that I revisit, lost another time and place
Lost a parallel existence, lost a nightmare I retrace

No need to say that I’m not on my best moment right now, right? Sometimes I think like disappearing just like the kid from this amazing film (based on a true story). But this isn’t a solution, is it?

Oh, btw, the extracts above are from one of my favorite songs called ‘Dream of Mirrors’.

6 days at home

Last Thursday was a national holiday, so since everybody is lazy (including me) in this bloody country nobody worked on Friday. Today (Tuesday) is a regional holiday so, nobody worked on Monday either. The result? Six boring days at home!

Ok, not all days were boring (see my previous post), but I guess the final result was not good at all. I ended up arguing with her again, and I ended up going to the cinema, which I love and I hadn’t done that in a long while. The two films I saw were sad, depressive but somehow I like it. I keep thinking that by watching those kinds of things I will learn and be ready to face certain situations in the future. But then, I never learn or I’m always afraid of facing them, you know what I mean?

Having said that, it’s sad to say and admit that I’m indeed a lonely person. No matter how many great new friends I have, I turn out to find myself alone, doing things alone. What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with the others? Am I selfish? I guess I could do years of therapy and I would never know.